This morning, I made myself a BADASS cup of coffee. Maaaaaaaybe it had a little of my mother-in-law’s homemade Kahlua in it, or maaaaaaaybe it had a lot. Either way, it was delicious. Just the right strength, just the right sweet, just the right … right.
I set it on one of the coasters I had crocheted and evidently only set it on the corner and knocked it over. My delicious coffee was now flowing all over the coffee table. Aptly named, no? As I marveled at the irony while I cleaned up my sticky mess, I was annoyed that I spilled part of my perfect cup. Begrudgingly I drank what was left.
Cut to a few hours later.
I was on a roll with BADASS things today. We had some leftover chicken fried steak and I made myself some breakfast with it. Yes, I used butter to re-fry (?) the pieces I had cut up. I truly shredded the cheddar cheese instead of using the already shredded Italian blend. I even whisked the eggs with a little Cajun seasoning before throwing them in the pan. Usually I just crack the eggs into what I am making. I was so proud of myself and patting myself on the back for ACTUALLY making myself a meal instead of either A: not eating or B: having a granola bar or C: Doritos.
Feeling superior, I went BACK to the coffee table to eat my steaming breakfast. I set it down on the table and knocked over the same damn cup of coffee. Now I thought I had finished that cup, but no. The last bit pooled onto my white paper plate. I watched it seep into my tortillas and considered for a moment to just deal with it. But I didn’t really go to all that trouble to MAKE myself a healthy delectable breakfast to have it soaking in coffee and Kahlua.
Angrily, I marched my breakfast back into the kitchen. I realized that I had 2 paper plates to support the weight of my meal. I tried to pour what I assumed was a little bit of coffee onto the other plate with the intent of just throwing the other plate away and eating my now cooling food. I picked up the paper plate that had the puddle of the offending coffee on it and as liquids do, it spilled all over the counter and my hand. This coffee was made by the devil. I cleaned up THAT mess and went to go eat my food.
Let me just say that Kahlua flavored coffee with chicken fried steak breakfast tacos tastes a little bit like chicken and waffles. Angry chicken and waffles.
I managed NOT to spill my next cup of coffee.