i know the first rule of fight club is “DO NOT BLOG ABOUT WORK”, but this chat between Austin and i HAD to be shared.
Christel: hi handsome!
Austin: sup gurl
Christel: i don’t ever want to get old
Austin: we’re not, baby
Christel: i had a lady bring in a bill that i reprinted for her last month
Christel: on it IN MY HANDWRITING it read
Christel: “CALL CUSTOMER SERVICE and the number TO CANCEL PAPERLESS BILLING AND CHANGE ADDRESS”
Christel: so after she paid her bill she asked me when she was going to get another invoice
Christel: and then POINTED TO THE FIRST PAGE OF THE BILL
Christel: i said, well, i wrote on there 2 weeks ago what you needed to do in order to get your bill. have you done that?
Christel: “NO. what does all that mean?”
Christel: then the man that came in right after her…
Christel: said his phone wouldn’t ring.
Austin: it was off….
Christel: so i changed the profile from meeting to outdoor
Christel: and then he asked if that was something that HE could do
Christel: i said yes.
Christel: go to menu.
Christel: “where’s menu?”
Christel: it’s on the screen and hit the button underneath it.
Christel: “this one?” points to power button
Christel: no sir. the one RIGHT under where it says menu
Austin: get AWAY from the cust svr
Christel: and then navigate your way to the gears. the gears always mean settings
Austin: sell sell sell
Christel: “how do i do that”
Christel: you touch that silver pad with the arrows on it to get to the gears symbol
Christel: up down left right select start AB AB AB
Christel: then he lands there
Austin: select start!
Christel: i said, then use the center button to select it?
Christel: “where is the center button?”
Christel: “you know we old people ain’t no good at this”
Christel: i said, HONEY it is the MIDDLE BUTTON IN THE CENTER
Christel: “mash this?”
Christel: yes sir… “MASH” it
Austin: popcorn sutton
Christel: my GAY says MASH
Austin: make da mash
Christel: finally i sent him on his way
Christel: only AFTER he asked about the “NICE BLACK FELLA”
Christel: i’m making a sign for my coffee trailer.
Christel: “DUMB QUESTIONS WILL BE RIDICULED”
Christel: PROCEED AT YOUR OWN CAUTION
Christel: so that’s why my numbers are low this month.
Austin: poor thing
Austin: send them on down the line
—30 minutes later—
Christel: DEAR GOD!!!! the man on the phone asked me “how much would my bill go up if i added the $30 data plan”
Christel: i said “thirty dollars”
Austin: did you hang up?
Christel: he said, “yes.. the thirty dollar plan.”
Christel: i said, it would go up by $30
Christel: he asked “well then how much would i pay each month for that”
Christel: i said TAKE YOUR BILL… ADD 30
Christel:” well how much IS that?”
Christel: sir, i don’t know how much your bill is normally.
Christel: “well its about $119”
Christel: well i think i can do that without a calculator. if your bill is $119 and i ADD 30… then by MY math… and correct me if i am wrong, that equals $149
Christel: no lie.
Austin: i couldn’t imagine
Christel: i can’t make this stuff up