a lot of you know that i am a sentimental old fool. i attach a lot of feeling and emotion to random things. WIO just learned about my attachment with restaurants. if i went somewhere for a special occasion with Gulliver, i wont go there with him. i like to keep things sacred. i know its silly and ridiculous, but i like to have special moments STAY special.
also, i get pretty sappy around the holidays. who am i kidding, i am a traditionalist. i put too much emphasis on the little things. if Santa put peanut MnMs in my stocking when i was a kid, you bet your sweet ass that heads will roll if i dont have peanut MnMs in my stocking every year until the end of time. if i dont wear my Birthday Tiara Angela got me for my 21st birthday then it just isnt my birthday. if i dont end up in tears on Christmas Eve, then we can’t call it a success. i even went so far one time to IMPOSE a tradition on the Bencivengas. years ago, Mike invited me over to sit by the fire with the fam and enjoy some wine and exchange presents around Christmas. we ate Lamme’s chocolate covered cherries (which are STILL a weakness for me) and had a lovely night. i can close my eyes and be right back on the steps in the light of the Christmas tree. the year following, Mike called to ask if i was coming over. i said “as long as we have those cherries again!” the message that was relayed back to me was “those were a gift that someone sent and we just had them to eat that night”. i had assumed that it was tradition. i felt like such a jerk. so for years Mama B sent me chocolate covered cherries for Christmas when i lived in SC. see how i am?
anyway. i think it was 2 years ago i was NOT in the holiday spirit at ALL. and Christmas was fast approaching. and then a Wal-Mart commercial came on that not only made me cry, but sent a lightning bolt of Holiday Spirit right through me. maybe you’ve seen it? it’s the one where all the checkers turn their lights on and off while the Carol of the Bells plays. simple? yes. effective? TOTALLY. it even got me again this year right before Thanksgiving.
wanna see what i’m talking about?
NOW dont you feel empowered by the Spirit of Christmas? i know i do.
so this post is long and drawn out and not really touching on my point. i think my point is what does it take to FEEL like a special moment? or part of something? or empowered?
i had ALL of those feelings this morning.
it makes more sense for me to take Kiddo to her Grandma’s on my way to work. this morning i was up about 3 hours before i had to actually be there. i had to work on vitamin orders. and get myself dressed and ready to go. and usually i have help getting Kiddo ready, but WIO looked all cozy and snuggly in bed this morning, i let him sleep. i was bustling around the house, putting boxes in the car and getting my lunch together and starting the wake-up process for Kiddo (she’s a slow starter) and grabbing clothes for her and getting her dressed while she was still all sleepy (cause i was starting to run late, she takes her own sweet time, i needed to hurry) and hugs and kisses for WIO and breakkie for Kiddo and then putting her in the car. this is where it happened. we just got our driveway re-done yesterday and the stuff is still wet and messy. she asked me to pick her up and put her in the car so she didnt get it all dirty and as im buckling her in, i realized i was all up in her face, so i smothered that face with kisses. and the smile once she realized that i was taking the time to kiss her face up instead of rushing her, warmed me all the way to my toes. and it was that moment when the rushing around and grabbing and dressing and doing and and and made me feel like a Mom. yes, i live WITH this Kid about 5 days a week. and i can parent her all day long, but TODAY i felt like a mom. her actual Mama is amazing and i wont take anything away from that, but today i felt like part of something bigger. and something in me has changed. i can feel it. and the way she hugged me when i dropped her off, i know she felt it too.
i love that damn Stinkerbell.