at least they didn’t send a toe.

Thursday morning i got a message from WIO that read “Goat’s gone”.  i asked if he meant crazy or fishing…. and he said “no.  MISSING, GONE. and the gate is open”

now this gate is a hard gate to open.  it has been engineered to NOT open easily since we live in the sticks and have dogs and Kiddo.  so its not like the GOAT opened the gate.  its not like the dogs or Kiddo opened the gate.  someONE must have opened the gate.

i said we should make LOST GOAT signs and post them at the front of the street.  i mean yes, everyone who lives out there pretty much knows each other, but a wandering goat in Texas can also spell D-I-N-N-E-R.  we were afraid some lucky family was having Filet of Lebowski.  i didn’t stress too much and took a Zen approach that the goat would be back.  we even told the oldest dog to go find him.  like she’s Lassie or something.  we didn’t really think about it at length.

friday night, WIO sends a message, “found Lebo’s bell in the yard.  it wasnt there last night.”  the plot thickens!  later on, he saw the oldest dog with Lebo’s collar in her mouth.  now we were starting to think that someone opened the gate, the goat got out and a coyote got him.  which is sadder than a family eating him.

i went to work on Saturday thinking about how sad it must have been for our little goat out in the big world and how terrible it would have been if he DID get eaten.  and then i got a  message from WIO again, “go check my myface status” and it read, “El Senor Lebowski is back, apparently he wanted to go to school.  even made it ONTO the bus!”

so here is the story.

some punk kids OPENED our gate and let Lebo out and were playing with him in the street while waiting for the bus.  when the bus got there, the kids got on and SO DID Lebowski!  evidently they are much more suited for climbing mountains and not school buses, so he kept slipping and sliding around.  since the bus driver was on a schedule, she couldn’t stop and find out where the goat belonged.  so he rode to school.  ON THE BUS.  the bus driver called her husband to come get the goat and they kept him in their backyard for 2 days while they tried to divine and coerce from their children where the goat came from.  the kids finally told their parents which kid it was that opened the gate and then that kid claimed it was his house.  so they fashioned a leash backwards around Lebowski’s neck and walked him home.  Kiddo and her PaPa were outside and were pretty stoked to see him when he came into sight.  and when i heard the story i was pretty stoked too!  i KNEW he was ok, but i NEVER would have dreamed this would be what happened.

so Lebo’s home.  safe and sound.  and i am now wrestling with the desire to go talk to the pack of Rotten children that allowed this whole ordeal in the first place.  i have run though “since no one stopped whomever it was, then you are ALL responsibles” and “didn’t your momma teach you any manners” and “don’t you know any betters” in my head.  and each time i get that look on my face after we have stopped talking about it and start off with  “and another thing… ” WIO gently puts his hand on my arm and says, “Baby,  the goat’s back.”

he is indeed.  the goat is back.


4 thoughts on “at least they didn’t send a toe.

  1. we’re glad too. evidently he LOVES to poop on the porch, specifially. this morning WIO went to feed him and he started pooping, and he got put in the yard, and he stopped pooping, got BACK on the porch, gave WIO a confused look and started pooping again.

    SO, if you want a porch pooping goat, we have one.

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