adventures of stepmotherhood

dear god i’m exhausted. 

not only did we stay up late after playing with our new wii, but when we went to bed, the once sleeping 4 year old woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep at 12:30 am.  which translated into hurling her body from side to side to get comfortable and using every appendage to smack me and WIO with until 4:30 when i dragged my ass to the couch.  it was a super fun game of her heaving a tiny leg over mine and then me throwing it off and then her throwing the same leg over me to throw it off again.  and then when she settled, stupid sweet little john mayer would fire off yet another tweet and my phone would vibrate and then say “rada rada rada rada rada” (ya know… schnitzel from Chowder.  what?  you don’t watch Chowder?) and then here comes a tiny little arm aimed at the side of my head. 

and then she got hot.  which meant kicking off the covers as if she was being attacked by a pack of wild dogs.  in fact, i really think sleeping with the pack of wild dogs would have been more peaceful than sleeping next to the 4 year old.  after she kicked the covers off, she then scooted her body down towards the bottom of the bed to retrieve the covers.  which also meant that the hurling and flailing of body parts were now able to reach the lower extremities of MY body too! 

once i decided i couldn’t handle it anymore, i then hurled MY own body out of bed, grabbed my pillow and went to sleep on the couch.  which isn’t UNcomfortable to sleep on if you FALL asleep on it, but being relinquished to having to sleep on it begrudgingly, not so great. 

needless to say, i will sleep at MY house tonight.  yes, honey i said MY house.  not “OUR” house.  unless you install some bungee straps to harness the 4 year old.  and by bungee straps, i mean a LOT of benadryl and nyquil.  and maybe a glass of scotch.


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