Posted in Damn Family on February 13, 2013 by christelpistol

Tori Mackenzie Uhler-Hull-Stuart

born July 15th, 2000

died February 12, 2013


your funny face will be missed.  give my love to Shoes and Chloe sweet kittygirl.


Posted in Kiddo with tags , on October 9, 2012 by christelpistol

Doodlebug and i were driving in to school this morning and talking about the kid that she sees in the nurse’s office when she’s using her inhaler.  i asked if he had an inhaler as well.  she said that when he was there he was stabbing his finger.

i said, “oh he has diabetes.”

she said, “he checks the levels.  and its always 100.”

i said, “that’s a great level to be.  you know Lady has diabetes too.  you should tell him that your grandmother has it too”

she said, “well he sometimes speaks spanish and sometimes speaks english”

i said, “that can make it difficult to communicate.”

she said, “i know how to say some things in spanish… i can say HOLA!  and ARRIBA!  and ABAJO!”

i said, “WOW those are awesome things to know how to say.  do you know how to say ‘my name is Riley’ in spanish?”


“No, but i know how to say MY NAME IS DORA!”

i choked laughing so hard and almost drove off the road.

well played, Dora… well played.

lost pines

Posted in only me on September 6, 2012 by christelpistol

one year ago today was the day AFTER the Bastrop Wildfires started.  and that was the day that changed my life forever.  i had been working at the Bastrop store for almost 2 years, and felt like an outsider.  having been called “that yankee from Georgetown” and “that mean girl from Austin” i never felt like i was part of that community and honestly fought it every step of the way.

and then the fires consumed the town where my customers lived, worked, and played.  my customers were devastated.  my company offered half off accessories and brought in charging stations.  other employees from other stores came and worked at shelters and churches to hand out items to those who had lost everything.  my customers came in to cancel service and set up new contact information.  they were dirty, smoky, sleep-deprived, and tear stained.  and i hugged them.  that was all i could do.

we had been evacuated, but our house was fine.  but all of a sudden, there was a common bond.  i was involved.  i organized food, water and clothing donations from other stores and all of my friends from everywhere that i could.  the manager at one of the restaurants got a big box of clothes from me, but told me that the one thing that was needed was undershirts, underwear, and socks for the firefighters.  they went out and sweated and fought and came back in and peeled off their smoke and soot ridden, wet clothes and had to throw them away because they couldn’t be worn again.  in addition to her asking me to gather those items, she told me that she was doing free breakfast for all the firefighters.  even the ones that had drive and flown in from across the country to help out.  she was feeding HUNDREDS of them.  the least we could do was buy them socks.  and i damn near blew an entire paycheck on men’s underwear.  i got pretty funny looks at the checkout.

in the days and weeks that followed, we did what we could.  we held our breaths and hoped they would put the fires out and that they wouldn’t spread any more.  we worried and prayed about friends and coworker’s houses that either burned down, or were in the neighborhoods that were hit hard to see if they still had houses.

and we waited.  and we hugged.  and we consoled.  and we got yelled at.  because some people just hadn’t slept and the only thing they could control was the sound of their voice.  all they had left was their voice.  and we hugged those people even harder.

i learned that even though i wasn’t a local, i was now part of something.  something bigger than me and i liked it.  i had fought it so hard, but i had to just let it envelop and wash over me.  i made friends for life in those months.  and for that i am forever thankful and grateful.

i learned how to let go of my pride and not always feed my desire to be right.  i learned to listen, even when it seemed like the sound was so furious that it would consume me.  i learned to stop and be even more grateful than i was.

a friend that i made from the fires said today that not only did she lose everything, but she FOUND so much more.  she found old friends and new ones who came back into her life whether to send words of encouragement, or even money. and that today was her anniversary of FINDING.  Cyndi, i agree 100 percent and couldn’t have said it any better.

so in an odd way i owe a debt of gratitude to Mother Nature.  by her destruction, she was able to create something much more beautiful.


Posted in CoffeeGoddess on September 4, 2012 by christelpistol

i’ve spent 9 years of my life as a barista.  not all in a row, but i can account for 9 whole american years, slingin’ coffee.

in those 9 years, i have poured thousands of cups of coffee, made froofie fancy pants lattes and frozen mochas.  i have been smug and i have been a rockstar.  i have had regulars and wafflebutts and even come up with a specialty drink (or coffee blend) or 11.  in all those years, you learn people.  you learn what they like and how they like it and the one day you have it waiting for them and they didn’t even have to say anything is magical.  they look at you and realize that not only do they spend too much time and money in your establishment, but they also realize that someone pays attention to them.  they aren’t just an extra hot skinny raspberry half-caff latte, but they are now, THE extra hot, skinny, raspberry half-caff latte.  and it’s awesome when it happens.

out of those 9 years, i was a regular in that i was the one MAKING the coffee.

but today…. TODAY… i became a regular.

when i walked into the Target behind my store, i breezed past the coffee place inside, but still made eye contact with the one barista that knows me by sight and drink, but not by name.  i went and picked up some items and considered a stop for coffee.  when i made up my mind to go over, and waited in line, my coffee was there waiting for me.  already ready already.

“i …  but i didn’t order… how did you know…”  YIPPEE!!!!!!

it was, as i expected…. AWESOME.

i’m a regular!


Posted in Uncategorized on August 9, 2012 by christelpistol

OK… so I need you to put a bag of MnMs and a bag of Skittles in the candy machine, ok? 













Posted in only me on June 13, 2012 by christelpistol

in Amarillo, there is no “traffic”.  when i lived there, it was a welcome relief from the idiots people who live in South Carolina, who don’t know what a red light, a turn signal,  or a speed limit are.  when i moved back to Austin 6 years ago, i was reminded what “traffic” is.  and according to a study done recently, Austin has ranked within the top 5 worst cities for traffic.


that being said, when i let people know that i was going to work at a store in Austin, everyone was concerned about my drive.

“are you moving?”

“isnt that far from your house?”

“what about the traffic?”

“wont that take forever to get there?”

and i realized 6 years ago, when i was back in “traffic” that i was in traffic at HOME.  not in south carolina.  not in amarillo. home.  and i decided that i was thankful for being home and that was what mattered most.


so the moral of the story is this:

i’d rather be stuck in crappy traffic in Austin, than stuck in a shitty marriage in Amarillo.

a day in my life. or the past hour and 45 minutes

Posted in only me, WIO on January 24, 2012 by christelpistol

i know the first rule of fight club is “DO NOT BLOG ABOUT WORK”, but this chat between Austin and i HAD to be shared. 



Austin: bbbbaaabbbbyyyy

Christel: hi handsome!

Austin: sup gurl

Christel: i don’t ever want to get old

Austin: we’re not, baby

Christel: i had a lady bring in a bill that i reprinted for her last month

Christel: on it IN MY HANDWRITING it read


Christel: so after she paid her bill she asked me when she was going to get another invoice


Christel: i said, well, i wrote on there 2 weeks ago what you needed to do in order to get your bill. have you done that?

Christel: “NO. what does all that mean?”

Christel: /facepalm

Austin: awwwwwwww

Christel: then the man that came in right after her…

Christel: said his phone wouldn’t ring.

Austin: it was off….

Christel: so i changed the profile from meeting to outdoor

Austin: whooooooo

Christel: and then he asked if that was something that HE could do

Christel: i said yes.

Austin: hahaha

Christel: go to menu.

Christel: “where’s menu?”

Christel: it’s on the screen and hit the button underneath it.

Christel: “this one?” points to power button

Christel: no sir. the one RIGHT under where it says menu

Austin: get AWAY from the cust svr

Christel: and then navigate your way to the gears. the gears always mean settings

Austin: sell sell sell

Austin: lol

Christel: “how do i do that”

Christel: you touch that silver pad with the arrows on it to get to the gears symbol

Christel:  up down left right select start AB AB AB

Christel: then he lands there

Austin: select start!

Christel: i said, then use the center button to select it?

Christel:  “where is the center button?”

Christel: “you know we old people ain’t no good at this”

Christel: i said, HONEY it is the MIDDLE BUTTON IN THE CENTER

Christel: “mash this?”

Christel: yes sir… “MASH” it

Austin: MASH

Austin: popcorn sutton

Christel:  my GAY says MASH

Austin: make da mash

Christel: finally i sent him on his way

Christel: only AFTER he asked about the “NICE BLACK FELLA”

Austin: OMG

Christel: yep

Christel: i’m making a sign for my coffee trailer.



Austin: hahaha

Christel: so that’s why my numbers are low this month.

Austin: poor thing

Christel: yay

Austin: send them on down the line


—30 minutes later—


Christel: DEAR GOD!!!! the man on the phone asked me “how much would my bill go up if i added the $30 data plan”

Christel: i said “thirty dollars”

Austin: did you hang up?

Christel: he said, “yes.. the thirty dollar plan.”

Christel: i said, it would go up by $30

Christel: he asked “well then how much would i pay each month for that”

Christel: i said TAKE YOUR BILL… ADD 30

Christel:” well how much IS that?”

Christel: sir, i don’t know how much your bill is normally.

Christel: “well its about $119”

Christel: well i think i can do that without a calculator. if your bill is $119 and i ADD 30… then by MY math… and correct me if i am wrong, that equals $149

Christel: no lie.

Austin: i couldn’t imagine

Christel: i can’t make this stuff up



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